Where the story really begins

August 29, 2014 I married the sweetest, loving, man. We were so excited to start our lives together. We set off the day after the wedding onto our honeymoon. We made a few stops on our way to California where we had the whole week planned! On the third day of our honeymoon I started having intense abdominal pains. I knew it was my cysts on my ovaries, I figured one of them was bursting. (which hurts like hell) but the pain is temporary. I decided to wait it out. Over the next few days, the pain only got worse, I couldn't leave the hotel. My husband was frantic not knowing what he was suppose to do, not knowing the area we were in. Well, he called my mom for help. The thing I remember most was him holding back tears on the phone telling my mom, "I should have never taken her this far home!". We got my insurance information and called multiple hospitals trying to find one that accepted my insurance. 

Finally, we made it to the ER at a hospital close by, where we waited what seemed to be hours. I finally got into a room and we had multiple tests done, finding a large cyst that had been bursting and refilling with blood over and over again. They hooked me up to an IV and gave me dilaudid to help control my pain. Every time the nurse came in I told her how I was still in pain, and without fail everytime I said that she pumped more drugs into my IV. I was finally released at 6am. We headed back to the hotel where I slept and slept and slept until it was time to checkout of our hotel. We were suppose to be headed to another city for the next 2-3 days for our next adventure. But, instead when I woke up that afternoon I could not for the life of me fully wake up, let alone get up and walk on my own. We decided it was time to just head home.

This was the first week of our marriage, I always warned him, I was expensive and it wasn't just because I liked to shop! There was what seemed to be endless medical bills. After a few months we decided that it would be best for us to get off birth control so we could start trying to have children knowing that if it did happen it would be a struggle. That leads us to April 1,2015, we officially got off birth control. We wanted to try for a few months on our own to see if we could possibly get pregnant on our own before trying any of the fertility medications. Only a few short weeks later, we end up in the ER room once again. The nurse came in and we got the news. Not the news that you're thinking of course. I was being admitted into ICU for heart complications. This tore me down lower than I expected. I started feeling as if everything that could was going to get in our way of trying to become parents. 

I got released 3 days later, I had a follow up with my fertility specialist 3 weeks after the incident. This is when he informed me, until I am 100% cleared it is too dangerous for me to get pregnant. We were torn. We didn't want to wait, so we continued without preventing. Fast forward to October, I was finally cleared by my cardiologist. Things started looking up! I was feeling better and we were ready to move on to the next step. Beginning of November we started fertility medications. It was very tedious. We took a round of Fermara (letrozole) and then we followed up with an ultrasound to see we had a mature follicle ready to go! The next step was giving myself a shot in my stomach to induce ovulation. The wait began, every day I wanted to just take a test! But, knew it was too early. 

The second week of December we were getting ready for a family Christmas party. I was straightening my hair and I got furious over the smallest thing. I turned into the Hulk and through my brand new straightener as hard as I could and it shattered. My poor sweet husband turned and said, "wow, you have to be pregnant....". So after the family party we stopped and grabbed a test. It was a few days early so I was ready for the let down. I picked up the test after the allotted time....it was POSTIVE!!! After thinking for so long it was going to take years, my miracle baby was growing inside of me. We became attached to this baby the minute we found out. 

I followed up for a blood test to confirm. I was so excited that I sat in the waiting room to get my results, instead of going home. The blood test came back positive. This was real now. But, to be safe we wanted to check my HCG levels after 48 hrs to make sure my number had doubled. So, as happy as can be I went in and had my blood test done. I sat in the waiting room once again with the biggest smile on my face. They brought the paper in. I opened it..my HCG dropped, the test was negative. I had lost my baby only a few short days before Christmas. I didn't think I would ever overcome this.

We took the next month off of any fertility, and started back up the month after. We had continued getting negative after negative after negative. We needed a break from life, so we made plans to move out of state for the summer. After consulting with our doctor, he suggested trying one more thing before leaving. We agreed. We would do a mixture of Fermara and Chlomid, with the trigger shot, and then following up with IUI (insemination). The next week we made our trip out to our new home, I started getting sick every day. I was so tired, my breasts were killing me. Was this it? Was I pregnant again? I went and bought a test, the result was shocking.